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Janky Cracka Fool


Candide Alexandre de Montford Partridge to you Sir. Son of an art dealing Russian émigré and a Scottish lairdess, after an uncertain time in Janky's turf he went back to his roots.

Now he runs most of the illegally traded knitwear out of Brora, Cairngormshire.

But thousands made weekly in keeping London's social elite warm, yet colourful in matching woolly accessories mean nothing compared to his script writing past.

He once got Jeff Goldblum to say those famous words about rotating pubs, as well as Natasha Kinski to plug Bosch hand drills.

When the Wool Prohibition is finally over, Candide will probably resign himself to a life on benefits. The only way a Gentleman can live north of Hadrian's Wall.
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