30th April 2010 - Heroes and Villains
After way too long in Spain the intrepid 2 are finally back. Hard of arse
[train seats], full of gut [ferry Toblerone- the only thing palatable on a
floating council estate] and the boy better off [ferry bingo].
So the Battersea Blog awards for how to make something seemingly simple,
like repatriating 7 million people worldwide, just so incredibly hard...go
to
HEROES
1.Gatwick Long term Car park. No fuss, just a simple when were you due back,
Oh right a few days ago..well we'll only charge you til then. Awesome. Gold
Award
2. P and O ferries. No, they didn't rip anyone off at all. They offered
places on a fully booked ferry to those with the hardest luck stories. Free
water whilst waiting 5 hours to get on the boat. Free oranges at the same
time. It wasn't their fault the whole of Northern Spain descended on them at
once, but they coped well with 2000 extra people when they were only geared
for 200. My only advice P and O, is how to spot a genuinely disabled person,
rather than the Northern blagging scumbags that hobbled through with a
walking stick to get to the front, only to be later seen doing deck aerobics
whilst at sea. SILVER AWARD
3. Portsmouth Taxi Drivers. Having been ripped off throughout Spain with
incredible fares [£65 from Murcia airport to Murcia] it was good to see the
Pompey Cabbie NOT preying on the travel weary. A fiver from the port to the
station for 3 of us with luggage [we picked up a stray] was honest and fair.
No complaints that we weren't going to Leeds and thus a grand in his hand.
They kept the 100+ queue in order, wouldnt pick up from the back-which would
have caused a Fratton Park style riot, and didnt take you round the "long"
way. BRONZE
VILLAINS
3RD. P and O duty free shop.
Next time theres a volcano, remember there may be a better class of
passenger than you are used to. So stock up on B and H gold, and not only
Mayfair and Dorchester or whatever fags they smoke on Coronation Street.
Mind you I'm getting used to the Regal at the moment.
2ND EASYJET. Twats. OK, it was easy enough to monitor whether your plane was
going or not. But when it was cancelled, yes rebooking seemed easy,until you
saw the dates available. Of course Thursdays and Fridays bumped flyees
booked up Monday and Tuesday ...and so on, but when I looked there was
nothing/nada/zip for 10 days. This is crap. Jet2com put on extra flights,
and at least provided buses to Northern France for it's passengers, Easyjet
just sat on its chubby Greek hands and let people rot or make their own way
back. Not good enough.
And have you tried getting a refund?? Impossible, you need to provide
scanned copies of everything and have at least 3 yes THREE alternate email
address to correspond with them. Its a frank lesson in how to put in a
refund system and then not let it work unless you employ a bloody barrister.
A bit like the NHS complaints system I spose.
1st and the GOLD award for bastardry. That helmet-haired-fat-jobsworth-***t
who works for Renfe, the Spanish rail system on the Madrid to Bilbao run.
The train was leaving at 8am. We were there at 7.50 and he wouldnt accept
the emailed version of the train ticket sent to me by his employers. The
bastard grinned and made me leave the kid on the platform and run back to a
crowded ticketing room to get a print off. Its the same fuckin thing mate.
Sorry I didnt come on holiday with my bloody printer, but in some
circumstances show some flexibility you fool. I made it back with a
minute to spare, had to scan my bags, and guess what, yes some Irish
backpacker nicked my bag out the other side. Security didnt see it happen as
they were too busy "protecting" the fat arse who was trembling at my
"gonnagetcha" withering look. [as practised daily with the staff]. So Juan,
or whatever your parents christened your evil ass, I have your prints on the
ticket stub, am gonna spent 5 years in Benin learning proper voodoo, and one
day you will will wake up with a strange all consuming rash...
Cono hijo [as my Google translate tells me]
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